Serial Online Dating…From the “Victim’s” Perspective

Okay, so maybe “victim” isn’t the correct term to use.  I wouldn’t call myself a “victim” in this situation.  Maybe…”receiver?”  I don’t know.  Some writer I am; I haven’t been able to come up with the right label for myself.  Oh well.  Moving on….

I recently read a Huffington Post article related to online dating: Has Online Dating Turned Me Into a Bad Person? Confessions of a Professional Online Dater.  The writer, Joshua Pompey, discusses the impact that online dating has had on his own personality.  He states: “With each date I go on, I feel myself becoming more superficial, more judgmental, and completely unrealistic with my expectations.”

Reading this article made me reflect on my own experiences with online dating and how it may have impacted me.  I don’t think it has had the same effect on me as it has had on Mr. Pompey.  If anything, I’ve become more accepting of others through online dating than I have in “real life” dating.

But then I looked at it from the so-called “victim” perspective.  I have been “sitting across” from men like Pompey, in a sense.  I have been the one that has been rejected because of the impossibly high standards that online dating has perpetuated (according to Pompey).  In this digital world, somewhere out there, another woman is more beautiful, another woman is more interesting (well, maybe not–I’m pretty fucking interesting), another woman is more domesticated, another woman is sweeter, another woman is less damaged, another woman is less abrasive.  You get my point.

Don’t get me wrong; I think online dating is great.  I think it provides opportunities to interact with people that wouldn’t otherwise cross your path.  BUT it has its downfalls.  People can easily mislead you.  Body language is missing and body language is a HUGE part of communication.  And yes, people get cocky.  They may start seeking the unobtainable because they think it’s out there somewhere.

So what’s your take on this?  What’s your experience, if you’ve played a role in online dating?  Do you keep looking for someone “better?”  Are you one of the many that is passed over because someone keeps looking for “better” options?


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