“Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to take can sometimes be the most painful…” – José N. Harris

D__ finally texted me last night.  He was angry.  A brief summary of his words is that he is angry, what I did was “unforgivable,” he wants to be left alone, and he doesn’t know how he feels about me.

I don’t know what I did that was “unforgivable.”  Was it kicking him out of my house?  He had told me he already had someone coming to pick him up and he said really hurtful things to me.  (And I did let him come back and spend the night on my couch).  Was it not accepting his apologies and his begging for forgiveness via text Saturday night?  I was hurt.  I was angry.  He had said the same words to me two weeks prior and nothing had changed.  Was it dropping him off at a gas station at the Michigan-Ohio border?  It was one of the places his mom usually picked him up on Sundays and he had told me that she would be there “in a little bit” to pick him up.  While I regret losing my temper handling things the way that I did, I don’t think any of those things are “unforgivable.”  I won’t even go over the things he has said/done that are of comparable offense.

I made my feelings clear.  I told him that I love him.  I told him that I am sorry for the way I handled things.  I told him that we both hurt each other and that I want to work things out.  I told him that I think we can do that if we put more effort into better communication and into considering each others feelings more.  His only response was:

I am in bed going to sleep. Phones going off.

That was around 6:40 p.m. last night.  At this point, all I can do is wait.  Wait to see if he ever talks to me again.  Wait to see if he wants to work things out.  I can’t do anything else.  I’ve said everything I can say.  I can’t actually do anything.  It’s all on him now.  I hope he contacts me when he calms down from the anger.  I hope he misses me and wants to fix things.  We both have things we need to work on for each other.

 

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