“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” – Satchel Paige

I think I would be much older than I am chronologically, and I find that thought to be pretty depressing.

Over the years, certain events have made me cynical and even bitter about many things in life.  I fight it as much as I can, but the fact remains that I don’t feel the carefree joy of youth anymore.  I think it’s been a very long time since I have felt that.  So, from the emotional perspective, I might be in my 40s or 50s, perhaps, if I didn’t know how I am.

Physically, I think I would be in my 60s or 70s.  For my entire life, I’ve suffered through chronic headaches and migraines.  I’ve pushed through chronic knee pain since I was 14-15 years old.  This pain has led me to have numerous knee surgeries, which has resulted in even more pain and now physical restrictions (no running, jumping, squatting, lunging, kicking, twisting, pivoting, or kneeling).  Sounds fun, right?  Oh, and let’s not forget the chronic back pain from a misaligned spine after years of periodic limping.  I’m always tired because of chronic insomnia.

Well this sounds like a “poor me” post, doesn’t it?  I certainly did not intend it to be so.  I just saw this quote on Pinterest (yep, you caught me) and it prompted me to think.  I joke a lot about my age, saying I’m really old, that I’m 63 years old, etc.  I make comments about being crippled and handicapped.  My boyfriend refers to me as an old geezer (since, you know, he’s a whoppin’ 9 months younger than I).  He says it jokingly, of course, but I do believe that I’m the oldest woman he’s ever dated.

The old adage is “You’re only as old as you feel.”  What would it take to feel young again?  I wish I knew.  I miss having energy.  I miss being hyperactive.  I miss running around and being goofy.  How do I get that back?  I’m open to suggestions.

What about you?  How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?


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